This is the end of a chapter.

This week I slowly began the process of taking everything apart. First the books. Off the shelves and into boxes. Then pictures. Off the walls. Take that weird blue (not yellow or white) tack off and put it in the trash. Pile the pictures up. Then into a box with the books. Then drawer after drawer, box after box, memory after memory, event after event, thought after though. All boxed up under my bed. All to the replaying five song playlist of Sufjan, Glee, Wicked, and Missy Higgins. (My sound track of the year)
We all begin this process of taking everything apart, putting it in boxes, and moving forward.
As I took down the little envelopes in the bathroom with the names of each girls who I have come to love so dearly I realized.
This is the end of the chapter.
It was hard for me to realize that the end was coming. Everyone was still her. My life, my dorm, my floor, and my room were still full of people just yesterday.
It was even hard as I hugged girls and watched them drive away to realize that this is the end of the chapter. Maybe not the chapter but a chapter. (That is a better word less final.

I have loved this year. Sure, it has had its challenges. Difficulties. Ect. I have loved being shaped and changed by everything that being and RA is about. I have loved loving my rockin' floor. I love my girls. Yes, my girls. I'm possessive so sue me. I have love seeing them love each other. I have loved seeing them grow. I have loved learning about who they are. I have loved learning about how God loves them. I have loved being crazy, unorganized, immature, motherly, broken, confused, bubbly, and well all of those things that I have become this year.

It has become so much of who I am it is hard for me to really really accept that tomorrow I am going to take all of the plaid off walls. Dora and Brody are not longer at the end of the hall. There are empty rooms and empty beds all over the floor. This is really then end of this chapter. For me anyway. When I leave campus on Sunday I will no longer be an RA. I will pass on this room to someone who is not me. (some one who is rockin' who I am pumped about but like I said I am possessive)

It is hard to be honest with myself. Things will never be the same. Things will never be like they were. I will come and visit a really different place were I no longer have a place next year. Its the truth. I know. I have seen it. It is okay.

I just do not know how to reconcile things. How to comfort myself. I love this place. But I know that with change comes growth and a plethora of good and beautiful things. Really. This is not the end of relationships just the end of this chapter in my life. Books never have new characters in every chapter and my story will still ring with the names of these wonderful women.

I put my pen down. Close the book on the RA chapter of this story with the statement.

"Dear third Floor Hospers. I love you so dearly. You have challenged me, shaped me, and helped me to realize a new and beautiful kind of love. You are all so beautiful. I love seeing you passionate, excited, loving, and crazy. Thank you for the gifts that you have given me this year. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. You have no idea how much I have learned. I love you all so so so dearly!!!!!! This is not the end. He is at work. For his glory and our good."